I think everyone deserves to use social media however they want.
If you’re fine playing algorithmic chess to please CEO oligarchs- good for you. You may have to use it for your job, or hell, you might just like it! Me however…
Well, since becoming more disabled (hello, FND), I’ve not been able to work. To that end, it’s made me realise how much I can define how and use social media platforms.
Twitter? Deleted. This is the easiest platform to get rid of – just get bluesky.
Instagram? I’ve unfollowed everyone. The number one thing that was upsetting me was seeing all these events and places I can no longer get out to, and like, why would I follow someone who is posting stuff that made me sad?
My Website? Federated! I’ve installed ActivityPub, Friends, etc. I’m getting my online store up.
Friendship should not and could not be sustained on parasocial mutuality. I care about keeping up with folks, but everything is so desperately more interesting when I hear the joy in your voice over the phone or a well-worded email. I’m always open to letters, too.
if I’m honest with myself, I’ve always hated social media. It was something I was doing to benefit myself financially. Why can I not just be open to that? I’m going back to Instagram, but it’s not to make friends, it’s to make sales. If you’re following me, it’s because you want to see my advertisements.
Social Media is inherently authoritarian. Especially platforms like Discord an Reddit, which rely on individual contributors to have the power and say over what goes. I don’t think that’s a bad thing, but I think we should accept that this is a compromise that a personal website doesn’t have.
And look, I’m an interesting, varied person with interests that polite society rates between yawn-inducingly normal to hair-raisingly eccentric. The goal of the internet is to find and cultivate your own weirdness in a way that is a benefit to those like you.
If we don’t wrangle the platforms, they’ll wrangle us. Make powerful, sensible choices about how you use social media. Extract as much value from corporations as they do of you.
Much love,
Haley